Soon after my daughter was born, someone asked my husband if she had a nickname. "Yes," he replied. "We call her Shut the F*@^ up." The person looked horrified, but didn't understand how much she cried and how tired we were. She cried for hours a day for no apparent reason (i.e. colic) and she cried for at least 45 minutes each night when we put her to bed. Before you write me telling me what horrible, uncaring parents we are, know that we tried every technique in the book. She finally grew out of the nighttime crying and the daytime crying too. And we don't call her "Shut the F*#* up anymore (we never called her that to her face).
So imagine how happy I was when I heard about the book Go the Fuck to Sleep by Adam Mansbach. I grew instantly jealous. Not because this book is going to rake in a lot of money (though I would like to be a best-selling author profiting from this gem), but because I wish I thought to write it myself. It's brilliant. I got a leaked copy a few months ago and my husband and I were laughing so hard we cried.
It reads like a traditional bedtime story with perfect rhymes and meter, telling the story of a child who won't go to sleep, and the parents who are at their wit's end. Here's a sample page:
"All the kids from daycare are in dreamland.
The froggie has made his last leap.
Hell no, you can't go to the bathroom.
You know where you can go? The fuck to sleep."
You can listen to Samuel L. Jackson tell the story Go the Fuck to Sleep on YouTube (or just look at the embedded link below). Read the story behind the story in this Star Ledger review.
Want to get Go the Fuck to Sleep for yourself? It just came out this week.