Review: Your Kids are Your Own Fault

I don’t review a lot of books, because frankly – if I have time to read, I want it to be something on my current reading list. But the title of this book, Your Kids are Your Own Fault – A Guide for Raising Responsible, Productive Adults, got to me. It’s snarky and I like that.

The book was sent to me by the publisher – if I saw it in the bookstore – I’m not sure I would buy it. Why? I love the title. But the author’s picture is on the front. And you if you judge a book by its cover, I’d have to say he doesn’t look like the kind of guy I’d take parenting advice from. The stern-looking author, Larry Winget, is wearing a fancy cowboy shirt. He’s bald with small hoop earrings, and has facial hair on his chin and jaw only.

The author has built a publishing empire writing books encouraging his readers to take responsibility for themselves. He wrote You’re Broke Because You Want to Be. He wrote Shut Up, Stop Whining, and Get a Life. And tellingly – No Time for Tact.

Even his testimonials come from people I don’t think I’d trust. Here’s one: “He’s overwrought with righteous awesomeness.” Huh? And another. “You freaking rock, Larry!!!”

So you’ve been warned.

That said, Winget’s message is a good one. Your kids aren’t going to raise themselves to be good adults without you stepping in and guiding them. Not being their friend, but teaching them responsibility.

He includes some worksheets so you can spend some time detailing what you want to pass on to your kids – the values, what you want to teach your child, information your child needs to become the type of adult you hope them to be. Whether or not you do the worksheets, it gives you pause to consider your parenting philosophy.

One area Winget covers is self-esteem, and I like his approach. Your child gains self-esteem from doing and accomplishing, not from being told by you that he or she is fabulous.

Which brings me to one other approach the author takes. Your child is not special. To you, yes – your child is the greatest thing on earth and should know that at home. But if you let your child think he’s special outside the home, the kid will expect to be treated that way by others, and feel entitled to success and everything else good in life. That needs to be earned.

The book spouts a no-nonsense approach I like. But perhaps he’s preaching to the choir with me. He reminds me of some of my friends' blue-collar right-wing husbands. Guys who hunt and fish and watch Fox news religiously. We won't sit down and sip lattes together, but I can appreciate that they're good husbands and fathers.

I think the beauty of a book like this being written by a non-child rearing expert is that it will reach a different audience. An audience who maybe doesn’t read parenting books or magazines and will say as one of his fans said “Like a bucket of cold water, I needed that.”