Top 12 Things I Learned at Disneyland

1. During the fireworks, some idiot dad will stand in front of you the entire time, blocking the view of everyone sitting behind him. What an ass.

2. In Astroblasters (the Buzz Lightyear ride), if you continue to shoot a lit-up target, you get 1,000 points instead of 100. This is how you can beat your husband three times and almost get the high score of the day. Not that I’m bragging. (I knocked out my husband twice in Wii boxing too).

3. If you are prone to motion sickness, one time on Star Tours is plenty.

4. If you try to take your daughter on Indiana Jones because you think she’ll love it, be warned. Family therapy awaits.

5. If your daughter uses a FastPass on Indiana Jones and ultimately sits the ride out (waiting for you in the loading area next to a garbage can), you do NOT get the FastPass back.

6. When you sit in the front of the Splash Mountain log wearing denim shorts, the shorts will stay damp in the crotch all day and you will look like you peed in your pants. Your children will think this is hilarious, as will Grandma.

7. If the Dumbo ride says the wait is only 10 minutes, the sign is lying. It’s 30.

8. Your children will outgrow wanting pictures with the characters. You and your sister, however… 9. If I give my kids $10 to spend at Disneyland, one child will buy the first thing he sees, and the other will shop at every possible store. Come to think of it, each child takes after a different parent. Scary.

10. Sign of the times: The sign for Tom Sawyer’s Island is now covered with a ‘Pirate’s Lair’ sign. But the most popular sign is the one that says “restroom.”

11. Pirates of the Caribbean is a great place to take a nap. Ask my dad.

12. If your husband hates Disneyland before he goes, he’ll hate it after. Especially since you can’t buy beer there.

Need Kids' Furniture?

Do you need bunk beds, well-made/attractive dressers, night stands, a twin bed, preschool desks/chairs, novelty lamps, kids’ comforters or cute kids’ art? Right now there’s a slew of great stuff at below market values at Home Consignment Center (1888 S. Norfolk St in San Mateo - 650/577-8979). Normally this store sells used furniture (and there’s still plenty of that there), but the kids’ furniture store across from them went out of business recently.

This furniture is awesome and I wish we actually needed new beds and dressers (especially since I finally broke down and bought a crappy do-it-yourself dresser at Target a few months back – I wish I waited). You’ve seen the boys’ Pottery Barn boat bed? They have one like it for a few hundred dollars.

There’s a cute covered-wagon bed (ala Little House on the Prairie) that both my kids were dying to climb into. And a bunk bed that looks like a pirate ship. Of course you need to have a kids’ bedroom larger than matchbox-size for those, but I’m guessing some of you do.

After searching Ikea, Pottery Barn, Craigslist, Land of Nod, West Elm, ANA and House of Values for a desk suitable for my daughter and my bank account, I finally found it. It was part of this new collection they’re selling – it was a total steal. Now we're off to get her that pink chair from Ikea.

Coming Up: King's Mountain Art Fair

King's Mountain Art Fair, Labor Day Weekend in Woodside 10:00-5:00

In spite of the beautiful woodsy location and the yummy pancake breakfast, Mark has had enough of the Kings Mountain Art Fair, coming up this Labor Day weekend. Last year we spent more than $500 and he’s afraid we'll spend more.

We got great stuff, though, including a hand-painted silk wall-hanging for our bedroom, a puzzle for our niece, plus birthday and holiday gifts for our moms. One year at the fair (yes, we’ve been several times), we met a pewter artisan who turned out to be our Madison, Wisconsin dentist’s brother.

The fair has a kids’ craft area (Kiddie Hollow), with spin art, puppet making and other fun activities run by local high school kids. Tickets run $3 for 12 tickets (I think it’s a few tickets per craft), and they have books you can read the kids while lounging on comfie beanbags too. Just outside Kiddie Hollow, the local school moms sell enormous home-baked cookies for $3 as a fundraiser. The fair also features expensive face painting and some booths selling kid-stuff (like the aforementioned puzzles).

You can meet the firemen (the fair benefits the local volunteer fire department) next to the upper beverage booth, and get a free Smokey Bear coloring book.

If you bring a stroller to this gorgeous wooded setting, make sure the wheels can handle the dirt and small hills, since most paths aren't paved.

The fair runs Saturday to Monday from 10:00-5:00. Go early - parking is tough. The festival is on Skyline Blvd, about 6 miles south of Hwy 92. It’s a twisty narrow road and parking is where you pull onto the shoulder in the dirt. The later you get there, the further you park (though they have shuttles). One idea is to get there in time for the pancake breakfast (8:00 to 10:30) – and then parking is much easier.

Did I mention the pancake breakfast?

Free Ice Cream for your Birthday

Who doesn’t love ice cream (well not my brother-in-law, he’s lactose intolerant)? But really – if you’re not lactose intolerant, who doesn’t love ice cream? Especially when it’s FREE. And it’s your birthday?

Cold Stone Creamery has a birthday club, where you get a free “creation” i.e. with several mix-ins. I think it’s a “love it” size – equivalent to an adult medium (or grande in Starbucks lingo), sometime in the two weeks surrounding your birthday.

You can sign up your family online, including the kids. Of course if you take the other kids with you to redeem that coupon, you’re stuck with an additional Cold Stone bill, but at least they offer a $2 kid-size ice cream with one mix-in, so the un-birthday children won’t be jealous. The “love it” size IS big enough to split – if you can convince birthday kid to do that. Good luck.

And yes, you get on their email list, but Cold Stone doesn’t send many ads (this, from personal experience).

First Day of School

My kids went back to school today – and my baby entered kindergarten. Yes, I cried. Our tradition is taking pictures in front of the big school sign before class starts. I’m not sure how long this tradition will continue – I’m afraid that my now-2nd grader will refuse because it’s too embarrassing. When does that start?

Our other tradition is a big swim party – provided the weather is good. We have a “minimum” day the first day of school – they get out by 12:40. And fortunately it’s a nice, hot day here, so the pool beckons.

What are your first day of school traditions?

Coming Up: Strawberry Music Festival

I won’t normally post events that are already sold out, but if you’re interested, it’s worth putting it on your calendar for next year. I’ve never been, but my friend Danielle goes every year with her family and has a blast.

The Strawberry Music Festival is held Labor Day and Memorial Day weekends at Camp Mather, just outside Yosemite National Park. Most people camp for the weekend, enjoying a full range of kids programs like dance workshops, arts & crafts, music and storytelling. It sounds a little like a tamer Burning Man in a more hospitable natural environment. Or not.

Most people come for the 40+ musical groups performing over four days, plus informal jam sessions.

And there are showers, so not everyone camping will be stinky.

My New Invention: Chalk Holder

I realize that summer is almost gone, but I wanted to share my new invention – a long chalk holder. My son always wants me to draw tracks for him on the driveway, so he can race his bike. Need I say how hard it is to draw a track while on hands and knees, or bending over? (No nasty jokes, here please).

So I taped a piece of chalk (using packing tape) on the top of a broom handle and used it to draw the track in record time – and with no back problems! Yes, I know there are chalk holders you can buy, though I think most of them are kid-sized. But isn’t it easier to just do it yourself than run out to buy one?